Monday, 27 August 2012

Wake me up when September ends.


I'm a nervous anxious type of person. Much more of a planner than a spontaneous adventurer, a 'let's think about this for a second' girl rather than a 'let's do this now!' This never manifests itself more than when change is afoot.

Next week I return to work for the first time in Six weeks. There is no dramatic reason for such a long absence - I work in a Primary school and really, after 12 years of school, 2 years of sixth-form and 2 years of working in a school I really should be used to this September feeling by now.

However, it seems that I'm not and I'm not sure I ever will be. Every year without fail come the last week of August I get those 'back to school' butterflies stampeding around my stomach. I have odd dreams about forgetting I've left the lamminator on, getting lost between classrooms and being too late on my first day. In short, I full-fill every cliché about being nervous about something.

I'm never quite sure why ; I love where I work and get on well with the people I work with. I adore teaching and helping the children and can't wait to have another little class to bond with this year and this is very much what I want to be doing. But yet, these butterflies won't go away, this dull anxiety wont leave my head alone and I'm feeling... dare I say it... Like I want to run away and hide?

Do any of you experience this? Whether you're at school, college, uni or work does this affect you and more importantly, do you have any tips to combat it? Until September 4th I'm happy to be the pupil instead of the teacher!

7 comments:

Danielle Rose said...

I get this, I'm such an nervous wreck about most things, my job, uni, social situations. I enjoy them all but I suffer from huge anxiety. I'm trying to force myself to be more adventurous. Xxx

Sarah Madden said...

Danielle - Ahh I am exactly the same! I'm sorry you suffer from it too although it's nice to know that other people do! The best thing I can advise is to surround yourself with supportive people! Hope you manage to conquer it someday lovely xo

coffeecakesandcosmetics said...

Sarah, I feel this way too, unfortunately mine is every monday! I know its down to self confidence with me but everytime I mentally put myself down or say something negative to myself, I ask myself would I let someone else speak to me like that? Usually the answer is no! I just try and remind myself of this every time. Always ask yourself what's the worst that can happen, be realistic and usually its not as bad as you think! xx

Fiona Jane Ross said...

I'm exactly the same lovely. When the time to go back to work (or in the past, school/uni) comes, all I want to do is hide, and I suffer panic attacks at the thought of it. I can't say I ever really found a way to overcome it, but I survived school and university and have lived to tell the tale. I suppose one way to think about it is that within a few weeks you will have settled back into the swing of things and it's never as bad as you imagine it will be. xx

Sarah Madden said...

Michelle - Ouch! I have minor version of this every weekend too it is awful! Ah that's such a good way of thinking most of the time we are so much harder on ourselves than anyone (anyone worth our time!) would be it's important to remember that. Thankyou so much I'll definitely try and bare that in mind. xo

Fiona - Ahh you poor thing :( it's so sad and yet also reassuring (although I feel bad for saying that) to hear so many people say similar things. I'm glad to hear you got through somehow + I'm sure you'll continue to do so! Yeah, in a month I'll be rolling my eyes at myself for even being bothered I'm sure! xo

Rhi and Rach said...

I'm the same :( I think its the fact that you feel like you are out of sync and forget how to do things, but once you are back and get into a routine you wonder why you were worrying in the first place :)

Luckily I've now finished school/college and will be going of to uni this year. However, it doesn't start until October so hopefully the late start will mean I'm prepared rather than nervous!

- Rhi xx

Sarah Madden said...

Rhi - I completely agree you just feel like there's no way you can change what you're used to? Ahh yeah hopefully it'll give you more time to try and get everything ready :) xo

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